healing gracie

I am doing better...a lot better since my crisis back in June. I can't believe that was nearly 4 months ago. It's strange to think of that much time passing already. And I feel like I have improved a lot...though I realize there is still a lot that needs to be worked on. But I am acknowledging that I have made some progress.

I have opened up about some pretty rough stuff recently. I have gotten better at letting myself cry (though I could still use some work in that area). I feel better...like this dark filter is slowly being lifted from my vision...from my perspective of life and the world. I have been making it...juggling two jobs and photography, and I've been feeling ok about where I am at in life right now. I've accomplished some great things with my photography recently. I have been socializing more (I know, shocker!). I've really been trying to push myself beyond my comfort zone.

Despite all this progress, I am still struggling though. And it's realistic to expect that I would still be struggling. I still struggle with depression...with forming close, healthy relationships...with accepting how I feel, or letting myself feel...my body image (which I mentioned in a recent post).

But most of all I keep really struggling with loving myself...despite how far I have come. I mean really caring, accepting, and loving myself. Why is it so hard to love myself?