You know, it's really hard to enjoy life when you feel like everything you do is wrong. That's how I feel right now...and I hate it. I HATE it!!! To be honest, I feel so lost right now...so lost. I don't know what to do. And everything I do I feel like is wrong. I try to make a decision on where to go with life (and even with healing), I feel good about it temporarily, and then the response I get from others makes me feel guilty. "If it were me, I would be doing this...not what you are doing." I hear that and I feel guilty for thinking of myself...stupid for even thinking that I had a chance at making something work...ashamed, because I should know better...like a failure because I can't seem to get it right in someone else's eyes (let alone my own)...hurt, because it feels like no one is on my side, that no one will support me or encourage me. It's like all people see is what I'm not doing, or what I'm not doing right. They don't see what I am trying to do.
I feel so sick right now...all this just makes me want to give up...
Posted by
Gracie
1 comments:
You know what there is no wrong way to heal. I don't care what peole say this is about you. It is YOUR process. No one know what you feel, how you react, when you will feel better. Give yourself a break. When people say If it were me... say if it were you i wouldn't be having this problem. Let them know that you don't want their advice, just their support. The only person who matter is you. Failure is part f growing and learning there is nothing wrong with it. If you haven't failed then you haven't tried. I don't look at failure as a bad thing. You say that no one is on your side and all people see is what you are not doing. Maybe you are looking at the wrong people and only seeing the ones that are destructive. I admire your strength and persistance. Keep your head held high. As you grow and heal you will see that others opinions really don't matter. It's your opinion of yourself that does. If people haven't gone through it they just plain don't know and no one has gone through what you have, so they don't know how it has affected you. It's your pain to heal, any healthy way you can. It may take a lifetime. It may take a day, but it will happen.
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