healing gracie

I didn't know it was possible for me to feel this way again...

I was driving home from work (my new job, I might add). It was night time...I don't usually like driving at night because my nightvision can be somewhat questionable, but it was a good drive tonight...and not just because I could see fine.

I had a really interesting feeling come upon me while I was driving home. It was accompanied by the thought: "I'm going to be ok." It was kind of like this sense of calm came over me...and life felt good (even if it was just for that brief moment).

It has been a long time since I have felt anything like that...a very long time. And I am trying to hold onto that feeling...which I know will get difficult as time passes (and my doubting/questioning side tries to take over). But I want to remember it, hence I am writing it down. My life will be ok. I am where I am supposed to be. I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. I am dealing...and trying to live. It doesn't mean that my stresses will lessen (they are still pretty major)...it doesn't mean my problems will go away. It doesn't mean my trials will be taken care of and my burdens lifted. I just feel like I can accept where I am in life right now and honestly say I am doing my best...and that makes all the difference. It means I am ok.