healing gracie

I know, not a very appealing title. Gives you a nice visual. But that's what I need to do. I have been thinking about it lately, and after talking to someone about it, I know that's what I need to do...again. I've had "vomiting" experiences before, but I didn't get out everything that I needed to.

Why do I use the term "vomiting." Well, it describes the process best. When you are sick to your stomach it doesn't feel good, at all. You just feel physically miserable. And then you throw-up (I know, again with the horrible visual). Throwing-up is no fun. It feels horrible, tastes nasty, and...well...it just isn't pleasant. But after you throw-up there is a relief that kind of settles in. Most of the pressure and sick feeling in your stomach is gone (until it builds up again, naturally)...but you feel "better." You feel a lot better than if you had kept it all in.

That's what I need to do continue to move forward. I need to "vomit" it all out. Get it out of my system so I can start healing again. And just like throwing-up, it is very uncomfortable. It doesn't feel good, it's very unpleasant...but I will feel better after it's over. I've been putting it off for quite some time now, because of the fear and because I know it is not a pleasant experience. It can be terrifying, in fact. But I know I need to do it, or else I'm going to continue to be stuck.

So wish me luck as I try to muster the courage to "vomit."